Photo by J. Park – IG: @jiujitsuarchives
Is getting your hand raised at the end of a fight the only way to know you’ve won?
Recently, I’ve heard some of the top BJJ black belt competitors talk about how they didn’t consider their winning performance at a tournament (4 wins + a gold medal) to be a successful day, since they didn’t win by submission in all their matches.
For example, the Miyao brothers seem to be fixated on hitting only Baratoplata submissions in competition nowadays. Winning isn’t enough – how you win is also important to these competitors!
It’s incredibly impressive: these athletes are winning major tournaments but aren’t satisfied with the ways in which they’re winning matches. The rest of us are just trying to string a couple of wins together, while these competitors are giving themselves side-quests because winning alone is just too easy.
So, for these elite competitors who push themselves to the absolute limits of physical and mental training within their sport, simply getting their hand raised at the end of a fight isn’t enough of an indicator that they’ve “won”.
This is a fascinating and respectable practice, but should all competitors be taking this same type of high-performance, perfectionist approach to competing?
I think that elite competitors and recreational competitors – and everyone in between – can reframe winning so that it best suits their level of progression and their goals.
From my experience, there are many small victories to be had on the road to getting your hand raised. I’ve also realized that there are many ways you can win on the mats while losing in life. In my opinion, getting your hand raised at the end of a fight is massively important, but I don’t think it’s the only thing to focus on.
I believe a shift in thinking is warranted. What can winning be, besides getting your hand raised at the end of a fight?
Winning While Losing, Losing While Winning
For most competitors, competing doesn’t pay the bills. Instead, competition acts for many as an avenue for personal development.
It’s important to remember: you can lose, despite winning.
When I say you can lose while winning, I mean that winning a fight, a competition, or a championship belt is almost never the be-all-end-all of your life. This is especially the case for 95% of BJJ competitors who will never earn a dime from competition. Beware of sacrificing relationships, your mental/physical/spiritual health, and your integrity as you chase victory and glory.
It’s also important to remember: you can win, despite losing. (And trust me, I’ve lost enough times to know how true this is!)
When I say you can win while losing, I mean there are many positive takeaways from training and competing that you can benefit from as an athlete and as a person – even if you end up losing a fight.
You can learn a lot about yourself through competition – maybe by escaping a bad position, by overcoming feelings of stress and anxiety and controlling your state of mind, or by lasting longer than you anticipated against a more skilled and experienced opponent. And you don’t need to get your hand raised to enjoy these small victories.
You can develop as a martial artist/fighter and as a person through a training camp and a fight or competition, even if you don’t end up getting your hand raised in the end. When you think about it, you’ll benefit from going through a training camp even if you don’t end up competing! It’s become somewhat clichéd nowadays, but it still rings true: the journey is always more important than the destination.
You can form lifelong friendships and bonds with teammates, students, coaches/teachers, opponents, and others by competing – and this has nothing to do with who wins and who loses, or what colour medal (if any) you have around your neck.
Every time a match ends, I try to recognize the many victories that I experience, regardless of whether I won the fight or not.
From my perspective, I win because I get to be on the mats every day. I win because I have teammates and coaches who care about me. I win because, despite the anxiety that accompanies competing, I decided to compete anyway. I win because I arrived at the competition healthy and because I left the competition (mostly) healthy. I win because Jiu jitsu and martial arts make me a better, more thoughtful, aware, and present person.
Gratitude, Reframing, Reflection
At this point, I might sound like a broken record. A lot of what I’ve been reflecting on and writing about lately relates to gratitude and reframing the athletic identity (and the pursuit of victory) that I’ve worked toward for so long.
I won’t lie – getting your hand raised by the referee after a win is an incredible feeling.
And while I don’t think anybody should be completely unbothered by losing, I do think people need to look beyond winning as the only reason for competing.
How many victories did you experience before and after you got your hand raised?
And if you’re chasing excellence, how many more victories can you strive for besides just getting your hand raised the next time you compete?
